Lessons from Parris Island: What Watching My Son Become a Marine Taught Me About Leadership

My son completed Marine boot camp at Parris Island and graduated as a Marine on October 24, 2025. It was one of the best days of my life. As I drove the 12 hours home, I realized there were so many experiences on this journey that applied to leadership. I saw the results of focused leadership development in his life over the past 13 weeks, turning a lot of potential into strong character. My son also told me that the physical part of Marine bootcamp came pretty easily to him, and I thought, “Better him than me.” HA. Here are five leadership lessons I carried home from watching my son become a Marine.

1. Growth Requires Discomfort

No one becomes a Marine without enduring discomfort. Our son was pushed beyond what feels possible – physically, mentally, and emotionally – and I recognize how important this was for him. While many leaders can proclaim that growth requires discomfort, few of us leverage the discomfort in our lives and leadership. We develop resilience, courage, and humility in the crucible of challenge and discomfort. Leaders who avoid discomfort also avoid growth. Seasons of discomfort will arrive in our lives, and how we leverage these will play a significant part in the growth of our leadership and character.

The Marines don’t hand out the title “United States Marine.” FACT! It’s earned through sweat, exhaustion, pain, and finding comfort in the uncomfortable. My son completed the final 54 Crucible challenge with little sleep, little food, and demanding activities in a Nor’easter, and I am so glad that he had this opportunity. Real strength isn’t given. It’s forged in the fire of difficulty, uncertainty, and doing hard things. Watching my son endure and come out stronger made me reflect on the challenges in my own life and how the hardest seasons have often produced the deepest growth. I saw the tangible results of this in his life, which he summed up to me in the following words: “I learned that I can do really hard things.”

2. Discipline Builds Confidence

My son graduated from high school in June and left for the Marines in July. He returned home appreciably more confident in skills that I believe will carry him for a lifetime. He talked with us about honor. He spoke about the guys in his platoon and the brotherhood that is established. He is connecting the dots between the discipline and confidence in his training and the character needed to be the best. I love these conversations. Marine training is rigid — every movement accounted for, every response scripted (Ay Sir, Yes Sergeant). But beneath the discipline lies confidence. Confidence that comes from clarity, structure, and repetition. I am so glad he saw this transformation in himself, and it is building his confidence.

As leaders, our confidence doesn’t come from talent alone. It is built through disciplined habits, consistent effort, and doing the hard things even when our motivation may not be high. Discipline creates competence, and competence fuels confidence.

3. Mission Before Me

We have made “mission before me” one of our family's core values. (If you do not have a set of family core values, I would highly encourage you to create them.) We have served together in local food pantries, in orphanages around the world, and in our own home. It’s a big deal for us, and we wanted this to be a DNA marker of how we live. We have not always done it perfectly, but we have strived to make this a critical part of our story.

Strong leaders remind their teams of the mission. They help people see that their daily effort contributes to a greater cause. When personal ego gives way to shared purpose, organizations and people come alive. The phrase “Semper Fidelis,” Always Faithful, captures more than loyalty to the United States of America. It’s about a faithfulness to something that feels bigger than just me. And this creates a shared vision where I do something as much for me as for the person next to me.

4. Brotherhood and Sisterhood Strengthens Leadership

One of the best examples of brotherhood strengthening leadership in my life is my dear friend Mike Comick. Mike grew up in Newark, NJ, and I grew up outside of Philly. Mike is a black man who has been forced to navigate the racial bias that has come because of his skin color. I have watched this happen in real time with him. I am a white man who has not had these same shared experiences, yet we became the best of friends because we shared in a journey of service together, including sports, urban ministry, and celebrating many milestones.  We labored together serving kids who come from difficult backgrounds. At times, it was hot, tiring, and long, but these moments forged a brotherhood that has only gotten stronger over the years. He is absolutely my brother, and I love him dearly.

Marine boot camp creates this same unbreakable bond among people who might never have crossed paths otherwise. They learn to depend on each other, hold each other accountable, and celebrate each other’s wins. Leadership isn’t a solo sport. The best leaders build cultures of connection and accountability. They understand that real strength comes not from individual brilliance, but from collective trust.

5. Honor Still Matters

In a world quick to compromise, the Marines hold fast to honor. They don’t just talk about values, they live them. Every action is measured by integrity, respect, and commitment.

For leaders, honor matters. It shapes how we make decisions, treat people, and navigate adversity. When leaders model honor, others follow not because they have to, but because they want to. And watching one of them come home reminded me that the same principles that build great Marines also build great teams, organizations, and families.

As the Marine Corps graduation ceremony ended, with tears in my eyes, I hugged my son and whispered a simple prayer of thanks, not just for his safety, but for the lessons he taught me through his journey.

Becoming a Marine changed him. Watching him become one changed me.

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Billy Dunn is a Senior Consultant at The Center Consulting Group and has over 20 years of church and nonprofit leadership experience. He serves as the Character Coach for the Lehigh University Men’s Basketball team and the Director of Ministry Leadership for Word FM. Billy has assisted with the launch of a number of nonprofit organizations and has worked with organizations and ministries across the world. Billy has an M.S. in Organizational Leadership and brings experience in the areas of leading change, leadership coaching, resource development, church growth planning, and strategic thinking and planning.