6 Reasons Leaders Have Trouble Acknowledging Mistakes

“I am sorry.” “I made a mistake.” “What can I do to make things right?” “Can you help me improve?” These phrases can have what feels like a miraculous power. But they are not as common as you would hope. Our consulting team has worked with dozens of organizations where these phrases would have made the difference between a leader having to leave versus that leader rising up to become an even greater influence in the organization.

When confronted with doing something wrong or making a mistake, leaders can sometimes do the opposite: become even more egotistical, narcissistic, pompous, self-seeking, smug, defensive, and blame-shifting. If we are honest, we have all exhibited at least a few of these traits at some point in our leadership journey. So, what makes it so hard for leaders to acknowledge mistakes? Obviously, fear and pride can gang up, making such ownership easy to avoid. But if we dig a bit deeper, we will find other reasons leaders have trouble being wrong. Here are six.

1. They think they are the” expert.”

For those who have attained the label of “expert” (sometimes self-appointed), it can feel as though the likelihood of acknowledging a mistake decreases. This can be true in just about any field of work. Years of experience, financial success, positions of power, or initials like MD, PHD, and JD can make it even harder to acknowledge a mistake. This is one of the reasons why higher education is hard to change – there are a lot of “experts” housed under one roof. We sometimes find that the longer a person has led and the more credentialed or experienced they are, the harder it is for the leader to welcome advice, let alone seek it.

2. They have an overinflated view of themselves.

I remember once talking with a leader of a small organization. In his world, he was a big fish, and he acted that way. He worked hard to make sure I knew how experienced he was and how he was a sought-after advisor to other leaders working in his network. But his network was very small, and few would have seen it as the poster image of success. I actually felt a bit embarrassed for him since he was working far too hard to prove himself to me. And the harder he worked at it, the less impressive he seemed. If I were to make a bet, I would say that a person like this is not likely to be receptive to advice, feedback, or owning a mistake.

3. They fear being embarrassed.

Our team at The Center Consulting Group is exceptional. But we are still human and have made a few mistakes over the years. Fortunately, none of them were serious, but they were mistakes, nonetheless. Doing something wrong or making a mistake is embarrassing, and therefore, it is easy to want to avoid acknowledging it at any cost. It is right at this moment that fear or shame can have the strength of a bulldozer, pulling us away from doing what is right. While it was tempting and easy to justify our behaviors, I have felt that we just needed to “own it.” No excuses. No blame-shifting. Just a statement as simple as, “We made a mistake and want to apologize for it. Here is what we would like to do to make things right.” Each time that has happened, the client was both gracious and willing to move on from it.

4. They fear being sued or fired.

There are over 1.3 million lawyers in the United States, and in 2023 alone, there were 68.5 million court cases filed. This, in addition to the fear of being fired, can make it easy for someone to avoid taking responsibility for a mistake or a lapse in judgment. Over the years of our consulting, there have been numerous times when our work showed evidence that a leader was leading poorly and making mistakes. Even though the data was strong and the people around them were telling them they were not managing well, the leader could not bring themselves to say, “You are right. I am making mistakes in how I am treating others,” or “I acknowledge that I have acted immorally.” In some cases, an organization’s fear of being sued makes it move too slowly to own a problem. In other cases, an individual leader fears the impact of losing their job. Either way, acknowledging a mistake can be slow in coming, and sometimes, it never arrives.

5. They are too heavily invested to make a course correction.

In his book Blind Spots: When Medicine Gets It Wrong, and What It Means for Our Health, Marty Makary, MD, provides several sobering examples where medical researchers were wrong but refused to say they were wrong, even when confronted with data showing it. From peanut allergies to hormone replacement therapy to cholesterol, he looks at what the medical establishment promoted as “fact” but was later shown to be, at best, poorly designed research. But when he questioned many of these researchers, the vast majority held onto their flawed recommendations. In one example, he told a surgeon about the success rate of treating appendicitis with antibiotics. But the surgeon could not accept that there was a better, safer, and cheaper solution other than surgery. Even after Dr. Makary sent him three research studies that proved it, the other surgeon still had difficulty accepting it. Sometimes we can become too heavily invested in our conclusions to ever consider changing them.

6. They have a core group of people who are telling them that they are right.

Show me someone who is leading poorly and making bad decisions, and I will guarantee there is a cadre of people supporting them, telling them they are right and others are wrong. Even as I write this, I can think of multiple examples of leaders who were not leading as well as they thought, but had a support network propping up their view of reality.

The supporters may mean well and believe they are being helpful. Or they may be missing information. Or they may be blinded to the leader’s shortcomings due to the charisma and influence the leader holds. Or some people do this because they are receiving a benefit from the person they are propping up. But in the end, I have seldom seen this end well for either the leader or the group of supporters.

Every leader needs regular feedback from truth-tellers who courageously and wisely let them know what they are seeing. This, along with showing a spirit of openness and humility, can make the difference between success and failure.

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Jay Desko is the President & CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.