In managing a team, it's important that you build good team leadership skills, and one ways to do that is to learn to read the behaviors of your team members. Humans are very complex! Commingling emotion, personality, temperament, intellect, and the motivations of the heart can make understanding what someone really wants hard to decipher. Having finely honed emotional intelligence (EQ) skills allows a leader to read the source of frustration in others and give them what they actually need in order to once again be happily engaged and productive. The following examples show how leaders can help ease tension by paying close attention to how their employees are acting.

Trying to Manage

Example #1: When someone is trying to shape their context by focusing on tasks, they are trying to MANAGE. They want more authority to direct resources in order to accomplish more tasks. Allow them to manage. Increase their responsibility slightly, and give them more authority to make decisions and impact change. Don’t try to restrict them or micromanage them.

Trying to Motivate

Example #2: When someone is focused on people and attempting to shape their context, they are trying to MOTIVATE. Generally, this type of person is going to be excited, and filled with all kinds of new ideas. They want to inspire you and motivate you to do something new. Get excited with them, and lean into their ideas. Don’t stifle their creativity and interest in others. Motivate them in return to stay focused on the tasks at hand, but give them a bit of margin to explore the next steps in fleshing out the details of their ideas.

Trying to Mollify

Example #3: When someone wants to respond to their context by focusing on the people, they may want to MOLLIFY (soothe and stabilize) a tense situation being caused by changes in the organization or context. They want long-term adjustments in the organization to positively affect others. Share their concern by showing empathy. Don’t pressure them into agreement, but assure them that changes are not being made without thought and consideration as to how it will affect others.

Trying to Mandate

Example #4: When people want to respond to their context by focusing on the tasks, they may want to MANDATE the behavior of others by applying metrics and data as the “proof” that they are right. Although few decisions can be based strictly on sterile data, the EQ Leader will allow them to do the analysis and then spend time going through it with them. Assure them that decisions are not being made without valid information.

Team Leadership Skills: Reading Behaviors

Reading and then Responding

Reading behaviors through this matrix will help you respond to your team effectively which will increase healthy communication and minimize escalating emotional strife. High EQ leaders know how to keep others focused by understanding what is concerning them most and then responding appropriately.

Dave has over 35 years of church ministry experience including 23 years as a senior pastor. His consulting experience includes ministry assessment, leadership coaching, and strategic planning. Dave’s degrees include a B.S. in Bible, a M.S. in Organizational Leadership and a D.Min. in Leadership.

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